Sometimes I feel like I just am wasting my life. Well not wasting it, but I have the feeling I could be doing more with it. Thing is by the time I finish work I am tired, and have to go home a cook, and then by the time that is done it is dark and then I am ready to just relax and watch TV! It doesn't help that we don't really have any furniture so if we want to sit down the only place to go is the bed! So I decided to do something productive and plant my seeds on Saturday and they are starting to sprout, I have Basil, Sunflowers, Butterfly flowers and Strawberries. The strawberries dont seem to be growing yet, but I havent given up on them! I am torn between settin up my house here and coming home to study. I really really want to do my PGCE or an educational degree of some kind. I would love to teach over here, or at home. I just have to add all my commitments to Belize into the deal. I have a boyfriend who cannot afford to come with me, I have my two cats and two dogs, I have furniture, I have a job. I want so much to be a teacher and study but am not sure if it is the right thing for me to be doing. Eventually I would like to work for an educational non profit here in Belize, but really that would require me to have my qualifications. I think I will make enquiries about a couple of courses, fill in the application forms and see what happens. Afterall next September is a long way away. But I still could be a teacher by the time I am 28. Then another thing to consideris my job, it could hold real potential for a good career, lots of travel and hopefully the chance to do something good. But as in most things these days money appears to be a motivating factor for the guys up top. I want to make sure that I am working for a company that is helping the local communities, not explioting them. I also want to follow my interests, and not get stuck behind a desk for the rest of my professional life. I love the aspects of this job that include getting out there meeting people, travelling around Belize, being outside on the Farms but there are many thing about it that are getting me down. I wish I just knew one way or the other what the future holds..... I am feeling indecisive about everything. I wish someone could just tell me what to do for the best!
In the mean time....
1. Get a keyboard and practice my piano
2. Spend more time on my Spanish
3. Tutor Sherdrian
4. Write to my friends more
5. Paint
6. Grow some more plants
7. Volunteer on weekends
8. Make curtains for my house
